Goodbye My Lover, Goodbye My Friend
by bonboni
Summary: It was all because of her. He tried to protect her and that's how he died. Because of her. Based on the song 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt. Skate. Oneshot.


_Summary: Sawyer has just died leaving Kate to struggle in the real, dangerous world. Will she be able to do it? Based on the song 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt. Skate. Oneshot._

_Genre: Angst, Tragedy_

_Rating: T_

_Language: English_

_Warnings: Death_

_Spoilers: None_

_Disclaimer: I don't own LOST, James Blunt, or the song Goodbye My Lover._

**-----**

**Goodbye My Lover, Goodbye My Friend**

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?_

_Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,_

_Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

The cold autumn winds swayed around prickling Kate Austin's bare skin. She didn't care, though. The funeral had finished five hours ago. Everyone had been there. Everyone who had known him. God! It hurt so much even to think about him! Kate clenched her fists taking deep breaths. She continued to stare towards his grave. Towards the place that the only man she had ever loved was lying, resting peacefully.

_So I took what's mine by eternal right._

_Took your soul out into the night._

_It may be over but it won't stop there,_

_I am here for you if you'd only care._

Sun, Jin, Charlie, Claire, Jack, Sayid, Rose, Bernard and everyone else who had known him were there, all crying at the same time, and remembering the good times, the bad times, his laugh, his cry, his sarcastic comments, his crazy nicknames and everything else about him. God, even Locke was there! He came all the way by himself in a wheelchair just to see him a final time! A tear dropped from Kate's beautiful green eye and landed on the ground.

_You touched my heart you touched my soul._

_You changed my life and all my goals._

_And love is blind and that I knew when,_

_My heart was blinded by you._

She remembered seeing him fall to the ground in pain when that crazy gang of men tried to hurt her. She remembered him punching each one hard and she remembered how they punched him back, kicked him, spat at him. She remembered going to see him at the hospital where they told her that he didn't make it.

_I've kissed your lips and held your head._

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed._

_I know you well, I know your smell._

_I've been addicted to you._

She remebered his last words. He was in so much pain, but he tried his best to speak, just to say goodbye. 'I love you, Kate. Don't blame yourself for any of this. Death is not the end.'

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

_'Death is not the end. Death is not the end. Death is not the end.'_ Kate repeated to herself in her mind. But what was he saying? Death was the end!

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,_

_You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take._

_And as you move on, remember me,_

_Remember us and all we used to be._

She couldn't live like this. After they had got off the island, Sawyer promised her that he would stay with her forever and never leave her. Kate knew that from then on she had something to live for. But now what was left of her? Nothing.

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile._

_I've watched you sleeping for a while._

_I'd be the father of your child._

_I'd spend a lifetime with you._

It was all because of her. He tried to protect her and that's how he died. Because of her.

_I know your fears and you know mine._

_We've had our doubts but now we're fine,_

_And I love you, I swear that's true._

_I cannot live without you._

She couldn't live like this. She just couldn't. Tears started spilling out of her eyes. She knew that he didn't want to see her like this, but she just couldn't take it anymore. She fell to the floor clenching her fists and screaming

'GOD! WHY DID YOU LET HIM DIE?! WHY HIM? WHY NOT ME?! WHY? WHY?'

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

She got up and went over to the small picture on his grave. She knelt down slowly, bent forward and kissed it. 'I love you too. I can't live without you. I know that you don't like seeing me like this, but, death **is** the end.' she sobbed quietly.

_And I still hold your hand in mine._

_In mine when I'm asleep._

_And I will bear my soul in time,_

_When I'm kneeling at your feet._

She kissed his picture, tenderly, once more before getting up and running towards the street. The last she remembered is cars heading towards her, hitting her hard, as her body went limp when she fell down and warm blood oozed out of her head.

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me._

And for the first time that week she was happy. She smiled as people got out of their cars to see the car crash. She would see him again. She would see him soon. Not in this world, but in heaven.

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow._

_I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._


End file.
